Through Private Wars

by James Hearne

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05:16
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04:22
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04:30
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credits

released June 2, 2017

JH: vocals, acoustic and electric guitars, handclaps

the annotations are:
rob stein: electric and acoustic guitars, pedal steel
kevin simon: piano, organ, rhodes, handclaps
david andersen: electric and upright bass
eric parker: drums, percussion
eleanor kleiner: vocals, handclaps
elie brangbour: vocals, handclaps
paul grimsland: guitars on “planetstruck” and “moon over my shoulder”
jeremy baum: accordion on “strange the way”
brady totten: drums and percussion on “moon over my shoulder”
tony levin: bass on “planetstruck”


All music and lyrics by JH
© 2016, songs de guerre music (ascap)
produced by rob stein except “moon over my shoulder” produced by JH

recorded at grandma’s house studios, saugerties ny and art farm studios, accord ny
engineered and mixed by david andersen
assisted by zev pogrebin
mastered by david drago
mastered at 1809 studios, macedon ny

photography by james orr, orr media company
design by scott ratinoff


for sarah, my love my light my life

too many thanks are due to the fabulous musicians who gave their time and talents on my behalf; they played and sang their hearts out, and i’m reaping all the benefits (though you get to enjoy them too). special thanks to david and rob for their guidance and patience and proficiency, both instrumentally and aurally.

a brief but passionate plug for conor wenk and American Son Guitars: a couple were generously loaned to the production, and i’ve had my hands on a couple others: fabulous, hand-built instruments, all. if anything is gonna get me away from Martins...

this record would have remained merely a gleam in my eye without the constant and generous support of deven hearne, jackson williams, kelly avery, jayson verdibello, jessica leon, joe & kelly valentine, jason mcmurtrie, chris hague, mike solin, joyce lu, greg & teale fox, alex sando, mike & debbie bonkowski, graham & susan van dixhorn, james & corinne black, judy fagan, eric bonkowski, kathleen shaw, joey anderson, russ & janie mcknight, jay rosenthal, kerry green, ben & karin tinsley, anastasia pridlides, red, aaron kuder, nick & anna tochelli, bill & rachel davidson, calvin & bonnie dupuis, libby hearne, richard sharp, gwen axtell, john clough, paul & laurie eschmann, keith center, lauren kuhne, ben mcknight, jake & amanda weiskoff, laura segal clark, dan scholl, emily marston, jenn semler, doug holton, jenn jutras, katie barbato, matt teacher, michael & heather colletto, chris shrader, liz stachowicz, lisa chosed, mark krawczykowski, yolanda esteves, alan rose, mike oxman, sarah peterson, ann “valued” campbell, jeff selby, jennet, steve, & zoe ingle, mike & randi lawson, dave dehart, doug & amanda thomas, david eschmann, tracy powell, chuck & patty colletto, dave & jacklyn cohen, kate & doug hughes, jay “jack” schacht, matt tarka, kerry doyle, davey & sarah mcknight, donovan & michelle rice, tony & dana schelin, victoria watts, scott & jillian ratinoff, rachel schain, adam greenspan, nathaniel weigert, dana k fiero, mike provenzano, brady sanders, josh & maria larson, alex brown, kim gore, bob tomarelli, dani mari, michael southerton, lesley & charles ramsey, kevin & angela lacey, billy rose, lizzy diem, shawn conklin, baris kaya, jeremy porter, rani vasuveda, stephen la monica, logan callahan, laura cina, jenee halstead, maggie-kate coleman, rick warren, gary dale burns, gillian nash, david & shelley maffucci, tyler stoddard, karen martin, jonathan byron-woodin, peter tenerowicz, gwen binder, lewis distefano, raema rotindo, joshua porfirio, foggy otis & barb, wesley nichols, michael skurnick, leigh van swall, dwight grimm, khalid quesada, ted & shari hearne, steve marchion, everyone i’ve ever been in a van, on on a stage, or in a studio with, and everyone who’s ever bought me a drink or lent me a couch or bit of floor for the night.

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about

James Hearne New York

Powerhouse vocals over woodsy guitars, literate songs times wry banter, floor-to-ceiling dynamics plus wall-to-wall heart.

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Track Name: Motionsick
Better keep moving or I might fall down
Wish I didn’t get so motion sick
I’d give up my kingdom for a break in this town
But nothing that I’m throwing out seems to stick
I’ve been sleeping like shit and I’ve been wasting my time
I’ve been trying to put all of my pearls before swine
And I’m tired I’m so tired

But tonight all I want is you

I’ve been drinking doesn’t mean that I’ve been thinking
I’m acting like I’m 19 feeling like I’m 41
I’m hollowed out and dry my ship is sinking
Or am I blinking out judgemental sun
My stitch is in time but I still can’t save mine
Just last week I had a dream that you died
And I’m tired I’m so tired

But tonight all I want is you

Better keep moving or I might fall down
Wish I didn’t get so motion sick
I’ve been looking for you through all the bottles and the jars
I’ve been searching through all of the girls at the bars
And I’m tired I’m so damn tired

But tonight all I want is you
Track Name: I'm Afraid Of My Heart
I’m afraid of my heart
Want to give it to you
What if it don’t last
What if it’s ever untrue

I’m afraid of my heart
This traitor in my chest
That only wants to love you
I hope it never rests
I’m afraid of my heart
I’m afraid of my heart

I’m afraid of my heart
So many ways it can betray me
Give up on you or give up the ghost
Lead me astray or break or slay me
I’m afraid of my heart
I’m afraid of my heart

Want to give you all my years
But how many have I got left inside
Say I’m too young for all these fears
But I don’t know how my father died
Don’t know how my father died

I’m afraid of my heart
I’m getting older you know
Our lives are only beginning
And I don’t want you to have to let me go
I’m afraid of my heart
I’m afraid of my heart

I’m afraid of my heart
Want to give it to you
Track Name: Strange the Way
Well strange the way it seems
I changed horses in midstream
And it took a while to get back to my pace
Then the stream changed up with me
And I’m broken company
And I hate the way it slides across your face

Well I tried to change your mind
Tried to live the way I like
But the years keep slipping off behind my back
And I’m graying in my beard
And I’m finding it hard to hear
When you ask me if I ever loved you back

I did the right thing the wrong way
Tried to take a shortcut to the long way
I did the right thing the wrong way

And with reasons off I went
Into your winter of discontent
Maybe not the kindest thing I swear I know
Sometimes I lie away at night
Wishing I could make it right
But that ship sailed and I just watched it go

I did the right thing the wrong way
Tried to take a shortcut to the long way
I did the right thing the wrong way

Someday I’ll be on a train
Or go out walking in the rain
And I’ll see you with a new and better man
And I hope you can forget and love again

I did the right thing the wrong way
Tried to take a shortcut to the long way
I did the right thing the wrong way
Track Name: Planetstruck
The heat of the light
And the weight of the heat
And the reflections from off of the cars in the street
And you looked in my eyes
And you flashed me a smile
And I was frozen leveled and planet-struck there for awhile

Because your gravity pulls me to you
Like the tide to the moon
And the light you reflect in the gathering gloom
Brighter than stars
Planet-struck
Out of tune

And I tumble through night
On the back of your love
Sky is open world is turning around from so high above

Because your gravity pulls me to you
Like the tide to the moon
And the light you reflect in the gathering gloom
Brighter than stars
Planet-struck
Out of tune

And you warm to my hands
And you breathe all my breath
And I’ve never been more frightened to lose to death

Because your gravity pulls me to you
Like the tide to the moon
And the light you reflect in the gathering gloom
Brighter than stars
Planet-struck
Out of tune

And you warm to my hands
And you breathe all my breath
Track Name: Moon Over My Shoulder
1:41 in the morning driving home from the show
Sure hope that they liked it some nights I don’t know
Just want to reach someone maybe brighten their day
If my voice and my fingers can take a bit of that weight
I’ve got a piece of shit car filled all up with gear
Got a girl wants to live anyplace else but here
I got nine hundred dollars til the rent comes up due
I got nowhere to land and nothing else I can do

But I’ve got the moon looking over my shoulder
And I’ve got the roads all to myself
I’ve got the moon looking over my shoulder
And for a moment I don’t need anything else

Drivers side window edge of my view
Watch over me as I drive home to you
I’ll be hoarse when I wake up it’ll clear up by four
So I can do it again fifty miles and then
Load back in through the backstage door
Got a day job that barely makes up a fair wage
Got a fire inside me only cools off onstage
I’ve got forty-eight dollars and a ringing in my ears
And a feeling that I’m wasting all my best years

But I’ve got the moon looking over my shoulder
And I’ve got the roads all to myself
I’ve got the moon looking over my shoulder
And for a moment I don’t need anything else

9:00 high
Pale from weariness
Of climbing the heavens and peering down at the likes of us

Got seventeen bucks and a half tank of gas
And a lifetime of dreams that are fading away fast

But I’ve got the moon looking over my shoulder
And I’ve got the roads all to myself
I’ve got the moon looking over my shoulder
And for a moment I don’t need anything else
Track Name: Eight-State Arms
Saw you called this morning
Couldn’t find my phone
I was on a couch in Boston
You were sleeping all alone
Your house is cold and empty
I live from town to town
And I forget the way time passes
Every time that I’m not around

If I could reach you
If I had eight-state arms

And all the facts and figures
And all the charts and graphs
Still haven’t taught me
How to fold the map

So I could reach you
If I had eight-state arms

North and South and East and West
I’m always afraid to leave the nest
Up down left and right
Worry about you alone at night
Planes and trains and automobiles
Still not home when life gets real
Every night I face your way
Sing my songs to say

I want to reach you
Wish I had eight-state arms

And all the facts and figures
And all the charts and graphs
Still haven’t taught me
How to fold the map

So I could reach you
If I had eight-state arms

I want to reach you
Wish I had eight-state arms
Track Name: Twelve
I’ve lost my time
Lost my frame of reference
And I missed my sign
All the things I’ve never said
All the things I’ve never said

Inside out spinning with my head and my heels
Point in the wrong direction

Got too drunk last night I’ll make it up to you
Had thoughts of another life I’ll take it if you want me to
Til I find my way then I don’t care anymore
So I’ll see you when we’re playing I’ll sing for you like a thousand times before

Inside out spinning with my head and my heels
Point in the wrong direction
My old mind grinning with my future gone
Point in the wrong direction

I know I’m seeming awful distant tonight
Just want to wait a little while til I’m feeling all right
I know I’m seeming awful callous tonight
Just want to wait a little longer til we are all right
We are all right

Got too drunk last night I’ll make it up to you
Had thoughts of another life I’ll take it if you want me to
Til I find my way I’m not scared anymore
So I’ll see you when we’re playing sing for you like a thousand times before
Like a thousand times before
Track Name: Guy Fawkes Day
Remember remember the fifth of November
Sleeping in the other room
If ever if ever I knew where the ends were
Our home might not be such a tomb
The leaves are blowing in the windows in the darkness
Lit up by last years christmas lights
You asked me if there was room left in my heart then
Couldn’t look you in the eye

Remember remember awful things I can’t contend for
Hanging right over my head
If ever if ever I thought there was redress for
I could come back to our bed
Longing for some sort of greater understanding
It’s so quiet I can hear the furnace run
And maybe everybody has to fall down sometime
But it matters how the fall is done

Remember remember the ashes and the embers
Remember when we were aflame
When nights were long and cold and tangled in between us
When I could live inside your name

I’m sorry


Remember remember the fifth of November
Track Name: Two Lanes
I’ve been lost and I’ve been found
I’ve been singing my songs in bars and I’ve been around
I’ve been away from you as far as I would ever want to go
God willing and the gas holds out tonight I’m coming home

Second star to the right
Two lanes of nothing
Straight on til morning

When you’re leaving in the darkest hour of night
Every city looks the same the closing bars the lights the cars
Made another left on Main St cuz I thought I saw a sign
Left some miles back behind me got you on my mind

Second star to the right
Two lanes of nothing
Straight on til morning

Wish I may wish I might
Wish I’d see your face before the morning light
Some dreams fade some dreams die
Second star to the right
Second star to the right

I’ve been on the road drunk and sleep on floors
I’ve made mistakes and I’ll make more
But love ain’t worth a thing if it don’t live through private wars
And love ain’t worth a thing if no one ever knows the score
And love ain’t worth a thing if it’s never been explored
And love ain’t worth a thing if it’s not driving home at four

Second star to the right
Two lanes of nothing
Straight on til morning
Track Name: On Yer Own
Take heart little bird
The snow’s melting soon
There’ll be grass underfoot
Crickets to sing you a summertime tune

Take heart little bird
I know it seems dark but the dawn
Will not see its shadow
Will not hesitate to bring the sun

The world is too big for a bird on her own
Rest assured little bird you will not be alone

Take heart little bird
The cat’s gone to sleep
You’ll be in no danger you’re well out of range
Of her dreaming so deep

The world is too big for a bird on her own
Rest assured little bird you will not be alone

Take heart little bird
This too shall pass
Don’t try to hold on tight to now
It becomes then too fast

The world is too big for a bird on her own
Rest assured little bird you will not be alone

Take heart little bird
The snow’s melting soon
There’ll be grass underfoot
Crickets to sing you a summertime tune
Track Name: Two Lanes (Single Version)
I’ve been lost and I’ve been found
I’ve been singing my songs in bars and I’ve been around
I’ve been away from you as far as I would ever want to go
God willing and the gas holds out tonight I’m coming home

Second star to the right
Two lanes of nothing
Straight on til morning

When you’re leaving in the darkest hour of night
Every city looks the same the closing bars the lights the cars
Made another left on Main St cuz I thought I saw a sign
Left some miles back behind me got you on my mind

Second star to the right
Two lanes of nothing
Straight on til morning

Wish I may wish I might
Wish I’d see your face before the morning light
Some dreams fade some dreams die
Second star to the right
Second star to the right

I’ve been on the road drunk and sleep on floors
I’ve made mistakes and I’ll make more
But love ain’t worth a thing if it don’t live through private wars
And love ain’t worth a thing if no one ever knows the score
And love ain’t worth a thing if it’s never been explored
And love ain’t worth a thing if it’s not driving home at four

Second star to the right
Two lanes of nothing
Straight on til morning